X Division Championship [Six-Way Ladder Match]: Sanada (c) vs.
Eddie Edwards vs. Davey Richards vs. Manik vs. Tigre Uno vs. Crazzy
Steve
Couple of spots here and there - nothing
too nuts. Steve spins around with the ladder on his shoulders and
everyone just runs into him. He also tries to reach the belt but looks
ridiculous when Sanada isn't ready to prevent him from doing it, so he's
literally just pretending like his fingers aren't ON the damn belt
already. The believability factor is gone when that stuff happens. "This
is awesome" from the crowd, naturally, despite how it's a standard
ladder match. Tigre Uno sets a ladder between the ropes and another
ladder, horizontally. That'll be a spot in the future that he's setting
up. The Wolves double team Tigre Uno with a power bomb/backstabber
combo. Now, it's time for The Wolves to turn on each other and slug it
out on top of the ladder. Sanada gives Edwards a vertical suplex to the
outside. Manik jumps up and lands on the ladder, then gives Richards a
sunset flip power bomb onto the horizontal ladder. After this, Sanada
climbs up and wins with no real spectacle.
WINNER: Sanada
Disappointing. Nevertheless,
underwhelming, and certainly not "amazing" and worthy of "this is
awesome" chants. 6,5 of 10 points.
Bobby Lashley vs. Samoa Joe
Even match to start off. The story of the match seems to be "who can
punch the hardest, or at least the most". They're definitely keeping up a
pace of both of them being relative equals. Lashley hits a spear and
the pinfall.
WINNER: Bobby Lashley via pinfall
Not too bad, all things considered. Way to short for my taste. 6 of 10 points.
Magnus vs. Willow
So Magnus has a vest now and Jeff Hardy is stumbling around dressed like
if Sting were also conveniently an emo kid. Abyss comes out to give
support to Emo Beetlejuice to balance out Bram. Everything goes as
expected so far. Willow hits a second rope splash for a two-count. He
then misses a Swanton Bomb. Bram gets involved and Abyss counteracts.
Hardy tosses himself backward from the top rope into the pile of others
on the outside. Abyss and Bram now fight in the ring, cause you know,
that's legal. Willow hits a Twist of Fate twice (the first one was more
of a stunner), but only gets a two-count. Bram takes a steel bar from
the turnbuckle and Abyss pulls out Janice to fight back. Magnus prevents
a Whisper in the Wind. Magnus hits a uranage and wins.
WINNER: Magnus via pinfall
Like this one. 8 of 10 points
Kenny King vs. Austin Aries
Speaking of guys that I like, here are two of them. They keep things at a
good pace. Lots of suicide dives on this event, which is getting
tiresome. The highlight of the match I'd say is the Brainbuster off the
ropes for the victory.
WINNER: Austin Aries via pinfall
Probably the best match so far. 8 of 10 points.
The Von Erichs (Ross & Marshall with Kevin) vs. BroMans (DJZ & Jessie)
The Von Erichs seem like steady hands that know what they're doing. They
may be a little bland, but they're not bad. Jessie attempts to bring a
chair into play twice, and eventually gets a chance to use it on I
believe Marshall (the barefoot one - I apologize if I've mixed them up).
This causes a disqualification. Kevin Von Erich steps in after the
match to take down both DJZ and Jessie (putting the Iron Claw on DJZ).
WINNERS: The Von Erichs via disqualification
Decent filler for a debut. Dont like at all. 4 of 10 points.
Knockouts Championship: Angelina Love (c) vs. Gail Kim
The first thing of note is an odd bulldog-type move that made it seem
like Gail landed a bit awkwardly. Then, Velvet Sky blinds Gail with
hairspray (I thought DJZ was just out?). The ref doesn't care. Love hits
the Botox Injection and Gail kicks out. Earl Hebner comes out to toss
Velvet out of the ringside area and replace the current ref. Gail gets
back in the swing of things. Love gets caught trying to use the ropes
for leverage. Gail Kim accidentally dropkicks Hebner and Love goes for a
rollup, but no referee is able to count. Gail hits her finisher, but
again, Hebner is out, so there's no pinfall. Gail then goes for another
pin and Stifler comes back in, but not before Love reverses into a
pinfall of her own for the victory.
WINNER: Angelina Love via pinfall
Gail Kim at her best!!!! Best KO match for years. 9 of 10 points.
Texas Death Match: Ethan Carter III vs. Bully Ray
Bully Ray uses the rope/cowbell to toss Carter around the ring and choke
him. He exposes the concrete and brings out the tables. Good lord,
please don't start chanting that for 20 more minutes. A table is set up
in the ring on the turnbuckle. Carter brings out a chair and nails Bully
Ray a few times. He goes to hit him again and Ray kicks him in the
face/chair. Bully Ray brings out a cheese grater and uses it on EC3's
chest (by which I mean, doesn't do anything but hold it there and not
move it at all). Bully Ray unveils the boards from the ring and asks the
crowd whether he should go through the table or the boards. Boards win.
Rockstar Spud interferes with a kendo stick, but gets nowhere and ends
up being destroyed by Bully Ray for his efforts. EC3 capitalizes and
drops Bully Ray on the boards, but he still gets up before the 10-count.
EC3 then dumps out shards of glass into the ring. EC3 jumps off the top
rope, but Bully Ray gives him the Bubba Cutter on the glass (by which I
mean next to it and not actually on it). EC3 goes outside the ring and
gets up before the 10-count. He is then nailed in the head with a kendo
stick. Ray places Carter on 2 tables set up on the outside and prepares
to climb the ropes and jump on him. Dixie Carter comes out to tell Bully
Ray not to do it. He yells "I'm gonna kill you, bitch" and goes after
her. There's an awful, stupid, ridiculous excuse of an "injury" with
Dixie walking toward Carter and then falling and them trying to say she
collided heads with him and is totally knocked out. You've got to be
fucking kidding me with that. Bully Ray then puts Dixie on the tables
instead. Ethan gets back into the ring with a kendo stick and hits Ray,
who falls forward into the tables right as Spud removes Dixie.
WINNER: Ethan Carter III through overbooking
This was entertaining until that horrendous excuse of an ending. 8,5 of 10 points.
James Storm vs. Mr. Anderson
You're not missing anything until the only talking point happens, when
the Dallas Cowboys interfere and eventually celebrate with Anderson when
he wins with a Mic Check.
WINNER: Mr. Anderson via pinfall
Waste of time and talent, basically. 5 of 10 points.
TNA World Heavyweight Championship [Steel Cage Match]: Eric Young (c) vs. Bobby Lashley vs. Austin Aries
Lashley's got the power game, Aries has the technical skills and Young
has....the championship, which is most important. Then again, there's a
spot where Young holds both men up on his shoulders, so I guess he's got
some power game as well. I'm not sure how this makes any sense (and
thankfully, Taz agrees), but Lashley picks Young up in a vertical suplex
and places him at the top of the cage so he can start climbing and
escaping. Aries hits a hurricanrana from the top rope on Lashley. Nice.
From the top of the cage, Young gives Lashley an elbow drop. Aries
breaks up the pin and hits a Brainbuster on Young, who kicks out.
Lashley spears Aries, but Young breaks it up. Lashley goes for a spear,
but Young evades and Lashley ends up going through the door. I guess you
can't win this match by escape? Young hits an elbow drop on Aries, who
kicks out. Aries dropkicks Young after a reversal. After exchanging
blows, Aries hits the discus and follows it up with a dropkick in the
corner. He goes for another Brainbuster, but Young turns it into a
piledriver for the win.
WINNER: Eric Young via pinfall
good mainevent but too short with just 14 minutes. 8,5 of 10 points.
